In the 1980s "Yes, Minister" and, subsequently, "Yes, Prime Minister" were hits on British television.* The series portrayed the clash between politicians and the civil service in the British political system. One episode of "Yes, Prime Minister" dealt with the Prime Minister’s attempt to "do" something about the English education system.
Set forth below are two excerpts from that show. The first involves the Prime Minister, Jim Hacker, his wife, Annie, and his chief political adviser, Dorothy Wainwright, discussing a TV report about the Prime Minister’s visit to a local school that was doing a good job.
The second is from a little later in the show, when the Prime Minister tells Sir Humphrey Appleby, Cabinet Secretary, of his plan to reform education.
Though this episode aired over twenty years ago, these excerpts are still relevant today.
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ANNIE HACKER: Oh darling, I’m not interested in your paranoia. I was interested in that school.
DOROTHY WAINWRIGHT: Yes, parents queuing up to get their children into it.
ANNIE: What a pity that can’t all get in. More coffee?
PRIME MINISTER JAMES HACKER: Mmm.
Annie: Why can’t more parents send their children there?
PM: No room.
DOROTHY: There is room actually. School numbers are falling.
PM: Yeah, but that would mean poaching the other schools
ANNIE: So what’s wrong with that?
PM: The other schools wouldn’t have enough pupils. They’d have to close.
ANNIE: Great. So St. Margaret’s could take over their buildings.
PM: Darling, you couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be fair.
ANNIE: Who to?
PM: The teachers in the schools that have to close.
ANNIE: But the good teachers would be taken on by the popular schools. They’d be needed.
PM: What about the bad teachers? It wouldn’t be fair on them.
ANNIE: What about being fair on the children or are the bad teachers jobs’ more important?
PM: It’s. Never mind, never mind. Who’s to say who are the bad teachers? It just wouldn’t work.
ANNIE: Why not?
PM: Well, it wouldn’t work.
DOROTHY: Why not?
PM: What do you mean?
DOROTHY: Well, suppose schools were like doctors. After all under the National Health Service you can choose whatever doctor you like to go to, can’t you.
PM: Yes.
DOROTHY: And he gets paid per patient. Well, why don’t we do the same with schools? Have a National Education Service. The parents could choose the schools they want and the schools get paid per pupil.
ANNIE: Exactly.
* * *
PM: I’ve realized how to reform the educational system.
SIR HUMPHREY APPLEBY: Excellent, Prime Minister.
PM: I’m going to let parents take their children away from schools and move them to any school they want to.
SIR HUMPHREY: Well, you mean after application, scrutiny, tribunal hearings, and appeals procedures?
PM: No, Humphrey, just move them, whenever they want to.
SIR HUMPHREY: I’m sorry. I don’t quite follow.
DOROTHY: This Government is going to let parents decide which schools to send their children to.
SIR HUMPHREY: Prime Minister. You can’t be serious. But it’s preposterous.
DOROTHY: Why?
SIR HUMPHREY: Well, you can’t expect parents to make these choices. I mean how on earth would parents know which schools are best?
PM: Which school did you go to Humphrey?
SIR HUMPHREY: Winchester.
PM: Was it good?
SIR HUMPHREY: Oh, excellent, of course.
PM: Who chose it?
SIR HUMPHREY: My parents, naturally. [pause] Now, that’s different Prime Minister. My parents were discerning people. You can’t expect ordinary people to know where to send their children.
DOROTHY: Why not?
SIR HUMPHREY: Well, how could they tell?
DOROTHY: They could tell if their kids could read, write, and do sums. They could tell if their neighbors were happy with the school, and they could tell if the exams results were good.
SIR HUMPHREY: Exam results aren’t everything, Prime Minister.
DOROTHY: That’s true. And those parents who don’t want an academic education for their children can choose progressive schools.
SIR HUMPHREY: But parents have no qualifications to make these choices. Teachers are the professionals. Parents are the worse people to bring up children. They have no qualifications, no training. You don’t expect untrained teachers to teach. The same should apply to parents. {diversion into sex education]
SIR HUMPHREY: … But I’m being serious. It’s looking after children that parents are not qualified for. That’s why they have no idea which schools to choose. It couldn’t work.
DOROTHY: Then how does the Health Service work? People choose their family doctor without having medical qualifications.
SIR HUMPHREY: Ah yes, well that’s different.
DOROTHY: How?
SIR HUMPHREY: Well, doctors. Patients aren’t parents, dear lady.
DOROTHY: Oh, really. What makes you think that, Humpy?
SIR HUMPHREY: Not as such, in any case. As a matter of fact, I think letting people choose doctors is a very bad idea. Very messy. Much tidier to allocate people to GPs. Much fairer. Then we could even out the numbers and everyone has an equal chance of getting the bad doctors.
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* DVDs of both series are available on Amazon here.
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