The View from Right Field

Real Life Beats Dave Barry – Again

Dave Barry is out with his annual “Year in Review”, and as usual, it is hilarious.  Also, as usual, almost no matter how absurd and outlandish Dave is, real life is more absurd.  In this year’s edition, Dave says this about January:

“In government news, the Pentagon is harshly criticized for taking more than three days to notify the White House that Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin had been hospitalized. This prompts the administration to check up on the rest of the Cabinet, only to discover that at least four other secretaries are missing and the secretary of commerce apparently died three years ago.”

“The Difference Between a Lady and a Diplomat” – And the State of Humor Today.

Arnold Kling wrote a very nice article, “The Aphorisms of Merle Kling,” about his father in “In My Tribe” today.  I particularly liked the joke that the elder Mr. Kling heard around the Political Science Department at Washington University, where he spent his whole career:

“What’s the difference between a lady and a diplomat?

If a lady says no, she means maybe.  If she says maybe, she means yes.  And if she says yes, then she is no lady.

If a diplomat says yes, then he means maybe.  If he says maybe, then he means no. And if he says no, then he is no diplomat.”

Obviously, this joke would be considered totally inappropriate today.  Which is one reason we have so little humor today: you can’t be inappropriate.

Another Favorite Christmas Memory: Bob Hope Entertaining the Troops

Following up on last week’s post about our family Christmas in Berlin in 2010, I wanted to list one of my favorite non-family Christmas memories.  And it’s appropriate to mention it this year because this is the 50th anniversary of what was just about the last Bob Hope Christmas tour to entertain the troops. Bob started entertaining the troops during World War II (actually, before)  His last tour was in 1990, to Saudi Arabia and Bahrain for the Gulf War.  But the ones I remember most were the shows during Vietnam.  He would go at Christmas time and then the Bob Hope Christmas Special would be on TV in January.  It was a “must watch” for me. 

I think the one I remember the most was 1972, his ninth, and last, trip to Vietnam.  Back in the 2000s (i.e., the decade, not century or millennium), I bought a set of DVDs, “Salute to the Troops: Bob Hope: The Vietnam Years,” which included Bob Hope’s monologues from all of his trips to Vietnam, from 1964 through 1972.  It’s great.  I also tape recorded (audio, obviously) a part of his 1972 Christmas Special (which aired in January 1973).  I listen to it every year as I put the lights on our Christmas tree.  It’s one of my personal Christmas traditions.

Do Kirkland & Ellis and the Biden Administration Have the Solution to Crime?

With Roe v. Wade getting overturned today, this post is probably a day late and a dollar short.  But here it is anyway:

Paul Clement and Erin Murphy, who won the case in the Supreme Court against New York state’s relatively strict handgun law,  New York State Rifle and Pistol Association v. Bruen, have announced that they are leaving the law firm they were at, Kirkland & Ellis.  According to them, Kirkland & Ellis told them that the firm would no longer take firearms cases and that they needed to stop representing clients such as the New York State Rifle and Pistol Association or leave the firm.  Not surprisingly, Clement and Murphy are leaving K&E.¹  In any case, the lesson is clear: K&E doesn’t want to provide legal representation to unpopular clients – or at least certain unpopular clients.

After Taking Len Kasper, White Sox Announce They’re Taking Wrigley Field, Too*

The Cubs and White Sox jointly announced today that the White Sox will play the 2021 season at Wrigley Field.  A White Sox spokesman said, “We’ve got their prospects.  We’ve got their announcer.  We figured, what the heck.  We might as well take their park, too.  It’s in a lot better location than the place we play in, whatever its name is this year.  And with the renovation, the rats are gone, so Ozzie can come back.”

Crane Kenney, President of Cubs Business Operations, said, “I promised the Ricketts family wheelbarrows full of money.  With Schwarber and Lester gone, and who knows where Javy and Riz and KB will be playing after next year, the Cubs are going to stink – again.  How am I going get people to pay to watch the team we’re going to have?  In any event, some of our fans are so drunk that, when they see Eloy Jimenez and Dylan Cease on the field and Len in the broadcast booth, they’ll think they’re watching the Cubs anyway.  I figure this will be the best way to fill the stands – and the wheelbarrows.”

“If there are any scheduling conflicts, the Cubs can always play at their alternate site in South Bend,” Crane continued.  “That’s probably about the quality of the team we’ll have anyway.”
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* Satire Alert!  This is humor – or at least an attempt at it.  I assume it is obvious, but if it is not, I wanted to say it.