The Cubs and White Sox jointly announced today that the White Sox will play the 2021 season at Wrigley Field. A White Sox spokesman said, “We’ve got their prospects. We’ve got their announcer. We figured, what the heck. We might as well take their park, too. It’s in a lot better location than the place we play in, whatever its name is this year. And with the renovation, the rats are gone, so Ozzie can come back.”
Crane Kenney, President of Cubs Business Operations, said, “I promised the Ricketts family wheelbarrows full of money. With Schwarber and Lester gone, and who knows where Javy and Riz and KB will be playing after next year, the Cubs are going to stink – again. How am I going get people to pay to watch the team we’re going to have? In any event, some of our fans are so drunk that, when they see Eloy Jimenez and Dylan Cease on the field and Len in the broadcast booth, they’ll think they’re watching the Cubs anyway. I figure this will be the best way to fill the stands – and the wheelbarrows.”
“If there are any scheduling conflicts, the Cubs can always play at their alternate site in South Bend,” Crane continued. “That’s probably about the quality of the team we’ll have anyway.”
--------
* Satire Alert! This is humor – or at least an attempt at it. I assume it is obvious, but if it is not, I wanted to say it.
Recent Comments